3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
