he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
