Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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