I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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