He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
