he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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