spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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