You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
