you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
