just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize