Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
