i permit you to call me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
