You're so nebulous sometimes
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
