There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
