If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Houston, we have a blender
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We're too hungover to prance.
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