She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
