I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
