hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
