I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
