Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
