I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
