do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
