Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
vagina is talking i cant
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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