After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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