I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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