Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
