i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
