Whod you bang
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
