i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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