i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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