saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
