either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
