He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
