Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
