The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
