so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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