I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
