we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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