mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
