im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
