Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
