all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
