Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
