problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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