I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
