is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
