If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
