I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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