so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
