yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
