Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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