nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
