you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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