someone threw a dead crab at me
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I will be naked everywhere
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize