i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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