It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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