I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize