Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
