Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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