i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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