she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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