I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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