She said her name was "party"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
