And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
