That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
