I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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