I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
