with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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