bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
