can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
