FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize