if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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