Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
