yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize